Friday, April 29, 2011

I hate bugs!

Yesterday it was the Dog, today we have some flying bugs! I'm not a fan of bugs at all! I think they look like termites to me. They were all over the kitchen window and sworming quickly. Hubby was here on lunch (Thank God) to clean them all up and luckily there have only been a few more since then. I left a message for my landlord but haven't heard back yet. I know this is gross but look at these pictures I took.

 On a better note I have been feeling like I'm back on track with my health and fitness this week. I haven't had sugar in excess. I have had some as eliminating it completely would probably set me up to binge. 

I hope everyone has a great weekend : )

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Speaking up for myself

I dislike confrontation very much. I don't want any uncomfortable feelings to come up and for things to be awkward. I always feel bad to hurt someone Else's feelings and at times this comes at the expense of my own happiness.

I'm having this situation with my landlords dog pouncing on me or my family when we come through the gate to my front door. I'm not a fan of Dogs jumping on me and especially when they are not tiny. I feel that out of respect for their tenants that they should walk their Dog and not let it loose. At one point they told us that if the Dog is in the way we can call them anytime and they will bring her inside, but this still bothers me. I feel that I shouldn't have to call them. They should just be considerate knowing that they are not the only one's living in the house.

It makes me uncomfortable to have to address this with my landlord out of fear that things will be awkward. I have been this way my whole life. I know I have to get over it but not sure where to start. When I'm not able to express myself I either become angry and take it out on my family or myself in the form of binging.

Has anyone overcome a fear of confrontation and how did you do it?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


I woke up yesterday morning feeling pains in my stomach. I figured it would pass but it didn't. I spent the day fighting off the pains along with a headache and later on a low fever. Thank God I feel better this morning. 
 One thing I noticed while being sick is that I hardly thought about food. I didn't feel up to eating much so I barely ate all day and I survived. I wish it were that easy for me everyday. I find since starting intuitive eating I do tend to think of food a lot because I'm always trying to check in with myself to make sure I'm truly hungry. 

I think being sick made me realize that I need a lot less food than I think I do. I think I eat more based on what looks like a normal portion or that it's a certain time of day and I should be eating lunch, not necessarily what my body really wants at the moment. 

I really love how this journey teaches you something new about yourself everday.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Time for a change

I hope everyone had a blessed Easter. I know I feel very blessed and enjoyed the day with family. 
 On another note. I have been feeling really physically sick these days, very bloated and getting frequent headaches. I have come to beleive that I'm eating way too much sugar than my body needs. I'm definitely learning what my body needs and what is not so good for it. I have been thinking about this a lot but have decided to cut down on the sugar for a while. I'm also curious to see how my body reacts to this. I will let you know what happens. It's not going to be easy because in a way I feel like I rely on sugar daily but that is more of a reason that I feel I need this!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Bonus Time

So every year around this time Clinique gives away a bonus with your purchase (I forgot about it this year). I happened to drop by the mall because I was out of my foundation and was surprised that it was the last day of the bonus : )
I actually got extra items also because I purchased a moisturizer that came with another gift! Check out all that I got for just 67 bucks! 

I just love the way I feel after doing something nice for myself. 

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Noticing my progress

I feel lately I have been focusing a lot on the negative so today I want to note something positive in my recovery. 

I will start by saying that I have definitely come such a long way with worrying about calories, fat grams points, etc. That seemed to be the easier part of intuitive eating for me. I think I was just so ready to give up that obsession. I couldn't imagine keeping track another day.

What I do struggle with is eating past my full point, especially when dining out. Last night Steve and I had a date night at a local steakhouse. My dinner came and I ate half of my steak probably a quarter of my sweet potato fries and 2 shrimp. I wrapped the rest up to go. I'm so proud of this! I struggle so much with eating what ever is left on my plate weather I'm full or not. The good thing is that I left room for some dessert : ) 

One more positive for the night was hubby telling me how free I have been lately! That was so huge for me to hear. He was used to me worrying about weight and calories constantly or just worrying about something in general. I might not be at the weight I want to be right now but all of these other things I have gained are so much better!

Don't forget to note your progress during your journey it's so important!


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Eliminate the Word "Should" | Shrink Yourself

I received this email this morning...this was so what I needed to hear after last night.

Eliminate the Word "Should" | Shrink Yourself

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Gave in

Today was a good day, I exercised and ate healthy all day until tonight. I'm a little upset because I just gave in way to easy. I was stressed about my son again and I had my ice cream which I planned on but I guess after thinking more about things as I was eating, that small bowl turned into two small bowls, 3 cookies and a small hot pretzel. Now I feel kinda sick. I just let things get the best of me tonight, I didn't even put up a fight. I'm due for my monthly friend any day now so I know this plays a huge part in my craving sweets but I can't blame it on that completely. I made the mistake of bringing ice cream into the house that I really love, maybe I'm not ready for that just yet.

Strength training and a smoothie : )

This morning I was fighting with myself about exercising. I just wasn't in the mood for the usual routine. I ended up finding a free website (love it btw) and had a great strength training workout. Sometimes you just need to switch things up and today it was definitely what I needed. Now I feel great. The workout was followed by a refreshing and filling smoothie : )

 This was a blend of french vanilla carnation instant breakfast, strawberries, milk, ground flaxseed and of course some yummy!

Monday, April 18, 2011

The joys of raising a teenager

Well the only thing on my mind today is my 13 yr old son. All I have to say is this isn't easy! I know that he is a good kid but I can't be naive and think he would never do anything wrong. I have a hard time when I loose control of a situation so I see how tough the teenage years are going to be for me and this is just the start. I have found some inappropriate language on his Facebook page and I'm not sure how to address it? Also, he is talking about things on Facebook that make me wonder what he is really up to with his friends when they have a sleep over. Don't get me wrong I don't think it's anything serious like drugs (thank God) I don't see that he has any signs of that but still worries me. Any other Mom's out there dealing with teenagers that might have suggestions...would love to hear!

Friday, April 15, 2011


Well today a had a small binge. I had 4 cookies and a handful of goldfish.

I think sometimes when others talk to me about issues in their life I tend to take on their stress. I don't even realize that I'm doing this until I binge. It's noted now and I will do better to recognize it and stop myself next time. I know that me stressing for them is not helping anyone but I'm huting myself!  

Right now I'm just eating a healthy snack which I had planned to before the mini binge. I'm having a few almonds with some cheese. I think this should balance out what I just ate, meaning that I won't crash as hard from that least I hope not.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Family Day

It was gorgeous today! Hubby got out early and once our son got home from school we were off to downtown. Here are some pictures of us enjoying the day. 
Gotta take what I can get when it come to pics of him these days : )

See what I mean?

Steve being silly

Back home to BBQ


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Sugar and binging

I have to say that my binges have been few if at all these days. I'm so happy for that! 

I do still have my moments where I eat emotionally or I do crave sweets though. I get caught up in ideas almost every other day about starting a new diet. Just today after my cousin told me that she lost 13lbs on her diet I wanted to try it. She said that everyone that starts it does so well. The thing that pulled me in about the diet is that she said it takes away your cravings for sugar. 

I have gone back and forth with the idea that sugar could possibly be the culprit in my binging ways but not 100% sure. I might take a look into this diet further and possibly will try it. I want to see if it would affect my cravings and binging but at the same time I'm afraid it will set up my obsessive behavior. I guess if it does get to that point it's not like I can't stop right?

I'm wondering what everyone else thinks about sugar causing binges?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Learning to go with the flow

Today was just a normal day for me, I'm pretty set on what I do each morning and I'm not really a flexible person. I tend to pass things up if they are not planned ahead of time. 

This morning I had a little surprise. My Aunt called me up and said she was going to be shopping in the area, she invited me to go with her. At first I kinda of panicked inside. I know it might sound silly but I found myself trying to use different excuses as to why I shouldn't go. It's like I just didn't know what to do with myself without having this planned into my day. She finally said to me..Tina you need to learn how to just get up and go sometimes. I know it's not what you are used to but I think it will be good for you to learn how to be flexible. I told her I would go. I got myself together the best I could and I went out with her. 

We went shopping and she treated me for lunch, we even visited my sister and the baby. I was so happy that she pushed me to go. I realized in that moment that this is what life is about...going with the flow. I really enjoyed my day with her and now I have a new memory. I know in the past I have probably held myself back from growing and experiencing life because it wasn't part of my plan for the day. Not anymore!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Help With My Recovery

I posted a Link to a site that has been so helpful in my binge eating recovery Nina struggled though eating disorders so she knows first hand about the struggle. She is now recovered for 4 years. Check out her site, she is really great about helping in anyway she can. 


Saturday, April 9, 2011

My question was answered

I posted last night about feeling out of control with eating while drinking. I received an email from and I feel better after reading this. This was a question answerd by Dr. Gould regarding a question he was asked.

Sarah, a twenty year old said: "I understand that since I equate happiness with food, that I overeat when I'm sad so that I feel happy. But sometimes when I'm with family or out with friends, I overeat and drink more wine then I should because I am happy, and I want to keep the feeling going, or be even happier."

My comment: I recommend that you continue to enjoy the family sport of eating and laughing and not beat yourself up about it. It is one of the great pleasures in life and a good way to stay connected to family and friends. Instead of thinking about giving it up, I suggest you think about controlling it. That is you can eat and drink and enjoy the moment without having to eat or drink too much. You can learn to "pause" and hold onto that feeling of joy, which comes from within, without needing to eat or drink more to make it last longer.

I recommend that you look closer at your desire to be even happier. I find that when people try to force happiness, they are really afraid that all their happiness will disappear unless they keep on promoting it. This is a catastrophe prediction that you might want to explore more. You can learn to accept the reality that happiness is not a constant state of being. You can let it go and be confident that it will come back. 

Friday, April 8, 2011

Drinking wine = Munchies

I has some wine tonight with my husband. It started out well but after a couple of drinks I just wanted to stuff my face. I'm sorry for being so blunt but that's how it feels to me. 
I picked on goldfish, chips and salsa and then some pizza. I'm so stuffed right now. I feel so bloated and upset with myself.  I wasn't hungry after the chips but kept eating anyway. I feel like it was just a glorified binge. I hope to get to a place where I can still be social and enjoy a couple of drinks without going crazy. 
I'm so curious to know how you handle drinking and having the munchies?

Stuck in my head

Last night I suddendly started getting stuck in my thoughts and started feeling like I needed to find a solution to loose my weight. My husband notcied me in deep thought. He was able to pull me out of my head and give me a great pep talk (this is why I love him). I realized that when I start to drift off to my old thoughts of diet or loosing weight that I have to take steps to re-direct my thoughts right away. I plan on talking a walk or reading my bible. I think these are both positive things that will help me get away from these negative thoughts.

I'm watching my neice today for the first time in just a few excited! 

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Moving forward

I came across this on a website this morning (

When I started to read through this chart I realized just how much progress I have made so far. I'm so proud of how far I have come already! I felt like I had a slip up last night and after reading this chart I would say no I didn't. I just overate a bit more than normal, but the good part is I didn't beat myself up over it. I almost forgot about it today. I woke up and ate a healthy breakfast and I worked out and not in a punishing way. In the past I have been so angry with myself for eating too much that I would try not to eat the next day, over exercise or just eat more! 

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

One step forward and one step back

As you can see by the title of this post, I slipped up tonight. I'm under a bit of stress right now. I know this is no excuse to not treat myself well, but I used this reason tonight. 

I think I knew exactly what I was doing today and I let it happen anyway. All day I was grazing and eating until too I was way too full.I sit here now to try to put the pieces together as to why I felt the need to do this and why I let it happen. I really don't know why, I can't pin point it exactly. All I know is that I'm a little upset with myself for just giving into a binge so easily. Just when I was able to beat a binge the other night. 

I'm trying to not be so hard on myself and just make tomorrow better, but that is the hard part for me. I like to know exactly what set me off so that I can handle it better next time. 

I did have a good laugh today with my son, he showed me this video on you tube...hope you enjoy it!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

So Grateful

This morning I ate a toasted sandwich thin with melted swiss and an orange.

As I sat to eat breakfast this morning I felt a bit sick to my stomach. I was watching a Feed the Children documentary. I really felt guilty eating at that point. I realized that I was about to complain about how my orange tasted (wasn't very sweet) and I held myself back. I thought, how could I sit here and complain about my food not tasting sweet enough and these poor kids don't know if they will eat today. I thanked God in that moment for everything he has given me. I hope I can harness this feeling when I feel an urge to complain about my weight or a desire to binge. Life is great and we have to appreciate everything! Have a great day!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Satisfying lunch

I debated on heating up leftovers for lunch but I had a strong craving for a stir fry for some reason. Well I decided to go with what my body really wanted. I'm so glad I did : ) Don't you love how satisfied you feel after eating something you were craving, not to mention it was also good for me! 

 This was a simple stir fry- oil and garlic sauteed with shrimp and broccoli. I added some chili powder (my new fav spice) some stir fry sauce mixed with a tiny bit of peanut butter and I threw it over some pasta....mmmm. I'm happy now. 

Back to normal

Everything is back to normal in my house, the hubby is home : ) 
I think I learned that I depend on him a lot. Although I can manage just fine I think my insecurities surface a lot more when he is gone. I'm glad I noticed this and hope to improve in that area. 
This morning I had egg, turkey sausage and cheese on a sandwich thin with some strawberries, no picture because I ate too quickly. I woke up pretty hungry this morning. Hope everyone has a great week!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Fought off a binge

I came home from church tonight and had some leftovers...spaghetti with turkey meat sauce and side of spinach. After dinner I spoke with my husband a I realized I was upset that he was gone this weekend. I don't do well with him being away from me, especially when I have nothing special going on. I know that doesn't sound nice but it's the truth. I think I got frustrated when I told him how I felt and he didn't understand completely. I immediately went to the chips! I stopped myself instantly. I just talked outloud to myself and said, you can't do this to yourself.  I was pretty forceful and it worked. I'm now feeling so much better. I'm so used to trying to eat my feelings away instead of feeling how I feel and being done with it.

Cereal breakfast

This morning I had honey nut cheerios topped with blueberries. I really have to say that honey nut cheerios is one of my favorite cereals, but It just never fills me up when I eat cereal in the morning. 

I had lunch shortly after breakfast, about two hours later. It was ham and turkey with melted swiss (love melted swiss) a pickle and some jalepeno kettle chips. I still don't feel terribly full..could be that it's just too many carbs. 


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Binged tonight

Tonight I had a binge. I realize exactly why it happened but not sure why I let it happen anyway. I'm mostly an emotional eater. I was highly stressed tonight and I was also very hungry at the sametime. Those two things together = disaster. 
The good thing about tonight is that I know exactly why the binge took place and I know how to try to prevent this for next time. 
One, I can't let myself that hungry to begin with. 
Two, I have to be kind to myself, a binge is not honoring myself.  What I don't really understand is that I knew what was happening but I let it happen anyway, I think I was looking for a quick relief of the stress. Not to mention that the husband is away for the weekend so being lonely doesn't help much. All I can say is lesson learned. The binge didn't last nearly as long as it would have a few months ago.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Busy week

Wow, have I been busy the past two days. It was all good but just busy. I had such a great day today. My Aunt surprised me and took me shopping and to lunch today. She is so sweet! She bought me a really cute Coach wrislet. 

It's pink, grey and white but the first shot doesn't really show the colors too well.
I love spending time with people that you can relate to, my Aunt is definitely one of those people that I'm blessed to have in my life.