Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Emotional Eating

When it came time to pack up our old apartment and move I hardly ate.  I was so busy with things everyday that I had to keep reminding myself to eat.  It was also due to lack of food from the transition to the new place. We didn't want anything to spoil so we waited until we moved in the new place to go food shopping.

Now with more than enough snacks I'm doing just that, snacking on everything! I haven't been eating real meals or even sitting down for my meals. We don't have our new table just yet and I think part of me still doesn't feel completely settled. We have a few odds and ends to finish up but we don't have the money to complete things just yet.

We don't even have the money to buy school clothes for our son right now.  I think I'm a little stressed but I didn't  really notice that until now.  I know when I'm eating like this that something isn't right emotionally. Sometimes it just takes a little digging to figure it out. I know that by stressing it is not going to resolve these issues, so I have to find another way to deal.

  I spend most of my days at home since I babysit for my neice so staying out of the house really isn't an option until she is picked up later in the day. I'm hoping that I can find another outlet because I have been pretty bad lately.  I just picked all the crumbs off of a cake and ate them, as well as a 1/4 bag of doritos. I haven't done anything like that (the cake picking) in a long time!  I thought those days were over.   I know I have to forgive myself and move on.  Thank God for this blog, as it's really a journal of my feelings.  Now that I have shared here I hope I will be able to move on and get back on track with treating myself right.

With the move going on Hubby and I have not had anytime together. We haven't even had time to sit down and have coffee together. It feels like we are two ships passing in the night. We are both exhausted and over worked. I would love to have a night out but there is no way we can do that right now either.  I hope we can get sometime this weekend to finally sit together on our balcony and have a drink together.

How do you deal with stress?  What ways do you use to cope with stress in a healthy way? 

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Finally Moved

It took a couple of weeks but we are finally in our new apartment!  We have some little things here and there to do but for the most part the big stuff is done.  I'm loving the new place.

Previously we rented in someone's home on the first floor. We had a good run there but we will never live with someone else again. We are now in a complex and we are loving it!  We don't have to answer to anyone anymore. I mean of course we can't do whatever we want but it's just a different feeling. Everyone seems to mind there business and that's great with us.

I love the view from all windows and I get a great breeze which is great just in time for fall. We have a great big balcony and a great amount of closet space. Funny just as I'm typing this I think that I hear a couple arguing across the courtyard...Thank God they are not close to me : )

Nothing is perfect anywhere you go, you have to take the good and the bad.  I have definately learned that. It's all about your own peace and how you deal with situations or people.

I will post some pics of the new place soon!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Catching up

Things have been pretty busy for me.  We are moving and you know how that goes.  I'm very excited for this change, but it is a lot of work!

In the past couple of weeks I have finally seen the scale drop!  I'm very happy about this.  I have been hanging in there with trying to battle my binging, dieting and body image for quite sometime, but it finally is all starting to come together.

I have heard this many times but it never made complete sence to me, but once the focus is off of food, you will finally see the scale move - Check! I think I just started focusing more on nourishing my body with the foods that make it feel best.  This in turn = weight loss.

I have also battled with wanting to try some crazy diets here and there, but I see that nothing is ever going to last if it's not something you can life with.  I know that the way I'm eating now is a way that I can stick to for life.  I'm not sacrificing anything now.  I'm enjoying treats and enjoying eating fruits and veggies, and also bread!  Nothing is off limits.  So therefore nothing tempts me anymore.

I have to say that my battle with emotional eating is the toughest.  I'm doing really well lately though. I'm happy with where I'm  right now and I hope it continues.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

New glasses = seeing clearly

I recently had to get reading glasses since I'm a bit far sited.  I just can't get used to this look!  Anyway, they are definately helping me not strain my eyes so that's a good thing.

I also have to say that I have been seeing a lot clearer with regards to my battle with food/weight.  I have been keeping track of my calories on and I eat anywhere between 1800 - 2100 per day.

I'm feeding myself mostly healthy foods with small indulgences,  I'm eating mostly when hungry but I do battle the ocassional emtional eating episode.

I noticed today that sparkpeople recommends that I eat 1200 - 1550 calories per day to reach my goal of loosing 35lbs by  December.  If you change your goal date to a longer period of time,  or if you only choose to loose just a half a pound a week it increases your calorie range to 1400 - 1700.  I haven't really gone by the recommendations because I feel that I want to loose weight in the way that works best for me.  I think this site is a great help though.  It gives you the breakdown of carbs/protein/fats.  I love that I can see if I'm getting enough of these.

Normally in the past using this site has really set me up for a binge.  I notice that although I'm going over the recommeded range that It's ok with me.  I realize that I'm using calorie counting as a tool to guide me in the right direction towards loosing weight.  I know through trial and error I will find what is working or not for my body to loose weight.  So far I have noticed a drop in the scale so whatever I'm doing is working.

I'm really in no rush to loose the weight I put on.  I want to make lasting changes that will allow me to keep leaving healthy and not just put this weight right back on.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Weekend wrap up and taking things slower

This weeend we celebrated my sisters 30th Birthday.  She has been through a rough few months and things are finally getting a little better for her.  I'm excited for her to start off 30 on a good note.

I have come to realize over the past week or so that as long as I'm able to work to stop my emotional eating that I shouldn't have any problem with getting to a happy and healthy weight for myself. 

I know that in the past  I have lost weight quickly but that's the same reason that I was unable to keep it off. It was too many changes that I wasn't able to live with. Also I was living by a diet set of rules. I want to be in charge of myself. 

I'm so passed that and I really want to conquer this on my own!  I have been finding small ways that I can change, but at the sametime things that I know I can keep doing for a lifetime. Some of the changes are carrots instead of chips or fruit instead of chocolate after dinner, of course there are times when the chocolate wins but hey that's life right?  That's part of this journey. 

Yes, I know that this means that the weight isn't going to come off fast like I'm used to, but I have to remember that in the end I will be able to sustain the healthy changes that I have made along the way. 

I'm definately ok with that : )

Red Velvet, of course I had some!

Blowing out the candles

My sister and her Godson, they adore eachother!

My son, myself and my Godson

Me and Steve

My son being silly with me

My adorable Godson and my son