Well, I tried something new. It didn't work, but I gave it a shot. I worked for a week at the new job and it didn't seem to be working. My boss said I wasn't catching as quick as I should be, making the same mistakes. She said it's a very tedious job and not for everyone. I was having a little bit of anxiety over it I have to to admit. I felt like working and babysitting all day was a lot on me and my family. My husband had to come home from work tired, and cook and iron and pack lunches for the next day. I felt for a lot of reasons it wasn't working out.
Although I feel relieved I still feel in the back of my mind that I should have stuck it out. I have to remember that in my heart I just knew it wasn't the job for me. I deserve to be happy and not to settle for a job just for the money. I have done that in the past and it was never worth it.
I haven't been treating my body well through this transition. I have been eating emotionally for weeks now. I know that I'm doing it, but I feel like I'm just letting it happen. I know things will get back to normal soon, but I still feel a bit panicked about money. Like I need to run out and find another job. My thoughts are just all over the place.
I have been happy being home, money has been tight, but I was ok with it. Since I had this job offer I feel like maybe I'm not ok with money being tight. I just have to really sit and figure out what I want to do.
I want to be there to help my sister with babysitting, but I do feel that we need some extra income. It's hard to find something that will work for both of those situations. I guess I have to have some faith and be patient and remember that something will turn up in time.