New Beginnings

I'm on the search for a job again. I have gone back and forth with the idea of going back to work full time. Since I have been at home babysitting my niece for the past two years, things have been rough.

I have had some great moments with her that I will forever cherish. I really have been a huge part in seeing her grow up. She will be 2 next month and it's about time she gets some socialization (same for me) : )

My family could also use some more income. We have all done without things for the past two years. I battled with myself about going back and realize that it is the right thing to do.

I have started my job search and have gotten two interviews thus far, and one job offer. I'm so blessed to have gotten these opportunities so quickly.

In the past I have taken jobs because I had to, or because it was good money, but not this time. I plan on being true to me. I finally have the chance to take my time with this search and find something that will really make me happy while making it easier for my family. I'm so grateful that my husband is so supportive.

I will be back with an update as soon as I get a job. I just feel really confident and positive that great things are going to happen for 2013!

Feeling in Control

I feel like I have a good hold on the emotional eating this week.  I keep checking in with myself to make sure that my stomach is actually growling before I eat. I think I have mixed up emotional hunger for real hunger for so long.

I'm finding that if I ask myself if my stomach is growling the answer is most times no. I will then get a drink of water and it happens to be thirst, sometimes boredom, or eating out of habit.

I feel like i'm going to stay away from the scale until after the New Year. I feel like when I'm doing well and eating intuitively once I step on the scale it just messes with me. I feel like I'm in a good place with myself and I'm going to enjoy my little treats if I want them for Christmas.

Stuggling

I'm struggling so much with emotional eating lately. I'm not sure if it's the stress around this time of year or what, but I feel like I'm going backwards again.

I have read many books on this topic with hopes of having an instant cure. I know that this is my own journey and I have to do the work. I think books and websites can be helpful, but if i'm not implementing any of the tools, nothing is going to change!

I have done a lot of research this week and I came up with some ways I can try to help myself. Here is goes....

Wait 15 min before you give into a binge - I have tried this once this week and it worked. I had to fight hard with myself, but I beat the binge that night. I gave myself time to figure out what was going on. I went on the computer and reached out to friends on a message board.

Have a list of things to do when you feel the need to binge - I haven't done this, but I'm going to write my list today. If I don't have any plan in place I can't expect to beat it right?

Things to do other than binge 

1. Listen to music

2. Take a shower/bath 

3. Go on the computer 

4. Journal my feelings 

5. Go for a walk/ visit or call a friend


I also would like to start either making jewelry or knitting. I hear that these things help and are fun and rewarding at the same time.

I have a lot of trouble following through with goals for some reason. I'm trying hard to keep myself accountable and hoping for the best. 

How do you fight off emotional eating? 

Things have been looking up for me. I have had a way better week. I'm exercising again and enjoying it, and I'm eating mostly only when I'm hungry.

As of this week it's that time of the month, so things are a little off, but I understand why. It was also my son's birthday today so there was an abundance of sweets.

Tomorrow I will feel like I can get back into my routine after today's celebration. I was so buy and also having some cramps so I passed on exercise today.

I did see a picture of myself tonight and I wasn't too happy with it. I felt chubby to be honest. I will do my best to leave it at that and not think too much about it. I'm doing my best right now and I want to be kinder to myself.

Here is to a better day tomorrow.

Binge Eating

I have been binge eating or more so emotional eating lately. I was told by someone to wait 15 minutes once you have the feeling to binge and just try to figure out what is going on that is making you want to binge.

I really didn't think it was possible for me. If you are a binge eater you know the feeling of anxiety and panic that just suddenly comes over you, your hunger level shoots up to level 10 in minutes.

 This happened last night as I was packing up my families lunches. I walked out of the kitchen and forced myself to sit there and journal it out. Guess what? It worked!! I felt so great. The feeling subsided and I was calm again. I'm not sure what was making me eat, but the good thing is I was able to stop it in it's tracks.

I will be using this tool as I see how well it does work. In the moment before a binge you feel so powerless, but that is obviously not true. I'm in control!

I even noticed a slight drop in the scale this morning which tells me that when I follow the principals of Intuitive Eating the scale moves. I know I have pretty much maintained this weight for about 2 years, but I also know that my bouts of emotional/binge eating have held me back from reaching my body's natural weight.

Here is to another great day!

Bad Week

I will be straight forward, I'm pmsing and just not feeling myself. I have been eating emotionally or more so binge eating again. I can't say when the last time was that I binged before this week.

I feel so lost and out of control. Usually my eating habits change during the week before my cycle, but this feels way beyond my control lately. Just before writing this I had checked my cabinets about 10 times trying to talk myself out of shoving something else in my mouth.

Right now I realize that food isn't what I need. I'm bored, extremely sleepy and really just need rest. I didn't have a productive day. I spent way too much time on the computer. I usually feel useless when I do that, but it's done and tomorrow is a redo right?

Hurricane Sandy

We were hit pretty hard by Sandy here in New York. It's so terribly sad to see so many people that have lost everything. I'm so grateful to say we only lost power for two days. Other than that a tree just missed my apartment door by a foot or so thank God for that!

This is the view we had

The hard part is just picking up the pieces and getting back to normal.  We are now in the panic stage here and people are on line for over 2 hours for gas. We are currently just about out of gas and are hoping they deliver some more soon! The good thing is that my hubby can catch the bus in front of our complex for work if needed...Thank God! This is a time to reflect and really appreciate the little things in life that we all take for granted. 

I have been emotionally eating this past week because of the anxiety and heart break of this storm. I can't use this as an excuse though.