Thursday, May 3, 2012

Fear of change

I haven't been that consistent on my blog these days. I just like to pop in when I really feel the need to share something. It works better for me that way.

As some of you may know, I stay home and babysit my niece Mon- Thurs. for income. It's not much, but it takes care of the food shopping. I enjoy it and I also enjoy the flexibility it gives me to be home for my son. I also get Friday to get errands done. It works out well and I can enjoy the weekend with my family.

We get by, we rarely have extra money. We do have to do without somethings like, clothes or going out. We are pretty much ok with that and have learned to really work with what we have and be happy. With that said, of course having a little more would be very helpful.

I applied for a part time job at the library back in Jan. and they called me for an interview this past Monday. I think it went well and now it's just the waiting game.

It sounds great, but of course my fear kicked in after the interview and I have been panicking. I have a big fear of change, always have. I usually run at the site of things being scary. Fear feels like it's paralyzing me honestly! I feel like there is no way that I can go back to working. I have a full day as it is here, I'm just so nervous.

I went through so many emotions the past few days. I finally prayed on it and accepted that if it is meant to be God will give me the job, and give me the strength to do it! If I don't get it I will accept that.

I have to say I have realized just how much our thoughts get in the way. I want to push past this fear and come out stronger. I know it will be worth it if I do. I know I will grow.









4 comments:

Marisa @ Loser for Life said...

I am learning how much fear of doing certain things or changing things up affects me, too, Tina. When I find myself starting to really freak out about it internally (which of course affects my eating, too!), I remind myself of a phrase I heard recently - "Fear will never result in a positive outcome." I try to live each day in a positive way, so this is a very real reminder to let. it. go.
Hope all goes well with the job! I would love to work at my local library!!!

sotm121097 said...

Hi Marisa! What nice surprise to have a comment from you, hope you are doing well.

That comment is very true. It's the story of my life. Once and for all I have to stand up to it.

It has been effecting my eating somewhat, but honestly not as bad as it would have been a year ago!

sotm121097 said...

Hi Marisa! What nice surprise to have a comment from you, hope you are doing well.

That comment is very true. It's the story of my life. Once and for all I have to stand up to it.

It has been effecting my eating somewhat, but honestly not as bad as it would have been a year ago!

Jennifer said...

I am am anxious person and overly worry about the simplest things in life! Life is too short to worry about if's and buts but get on with life!