Saturday, March 19, 2011

A little about me

I have dieted on and off for at least 12 years. I have also struggled with emotional eating/bingeing and was never able to keep the weight off. I started to obsess with being thin and with counting points as WW was usually my diet of choice. I wanted to start this blog to document my journey to end this obsession and live the life I know I was meant to live. I recently started intuitive eating to try to heal my bingeing.
I have been trying  intuitive eating for about a month now. I definitely see how my obsession with food has diminished. That has taken some stress off of me for sure.
What I find a bit harder is accepting my body as is. I' m not at a happy weight right now. I gained back all of the 33lbs I lost on WW over a period of two years.
A little history...I lost the weight for my wedding 5 years ago. That last time I did WW I had lost the most weight I had ever lost. I felt so comfortable and confident. After the wedding little by little the weight came back on. I remember bingeing on wedding cake while my husband wasn't around. I feel so ashamed of that when I think of it now. I don't think I realized back then how much of an issue this really was. I struggled to try to get back to counting points or trying to count calories thinking that something different would help. I had no luck with loosing. As I kept putting weight back on my confidence dropped. It's sad to say but I think that being thin makes me feel accepted in some way. I don't feel that I'm good enough when i'm heavier. I'm struggling to hang in there with this intuitive eating thing and hope that things will get better. Right now i'm taking it one day at a time.

No comments: