I was so dedicated and for the first time ever I was able to stick to a diet without binging. Each week I got a great feeling from seeing that scale drop. I finally made my goal weight and lifetime right before the wedding
I was able to get a dress that showed off my new shape and I was happy to be at a healthy weight. I really thought I had it all figured out.
I went to my bachelorette party and was able to wear a form fitting shirt that showed off my waist. Everyone was complimenting me. I was proud because I set out to do something and I did it.
Little did I know that I didn't have things all figured out. I enjoyed the festivities but shortly after the wedding the weight started to creep back on. I started to binge as early as one week after the honeymoon.
I remember sneaking peices of our wedding cake amoung other things. I just couldn't take it anymore. I really think that I was under a lot of pressure (pressure I put on myself) to be thin for the wedding and after it was all over I was releived. I went back to living how I was before.
I gained all my weight back and it is now 5 years later and I still haven't lost any weight. One thing that has changed is my inner self. I have been through a lot of changes and some up's and down's since then. I have grown as a person and have become close to God. I'm learning and growing everyday.
Of course I look at those pictures and I wish I was that "skinnygirl" again. But the truth is I wouldn't change anything that has happened because it has made me who I am now. I want to be thinner and healhier but I also want my inner self to match how I look on the outside. This is taking a little more time than before but I'm ok with that because I want changes that will last.