Monday, June 20, 2011
I was previously using a smaller notebook type journal which was harder to write in because it wasn't very wide. I'm so happy about the new one and enjoying writing in it more often now.
I hate to waste anything so I decided to use the old journal as a food log. Some people might wonder why a food log, aren't you trying to end this obsession with keeping track of your weight? Yes and no.
For one reason or another I have not been able to consistantly care enough about myself to fuel my body with foods that make me feel good. I do half of the time but it's just not good enough. I'm not being hard on myself at all. My body is telling me that I can do better.
I'm not at a healthy weight for my body and it's not a happy weight for me either. I struggle with binge eating so going on a "DIET" will not work for me. I don't want to set myself up for disaster. I do want to loose this needed weight and be in a good healthy place.
I just feel that this extra weight is affecting my health (lower back arthritis) and also my daily life. I don't mean to get too personal here but I don't really feel attractive when it comes to getting intimate with the hubby. I feel bad for him because he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. I don't think it's fair to him that I keep pushing him away. This makes me sad but I just can't help it right now
I don't know why I can sit around and complain about how I feel tired, and weighed down but still continue to make these bad choices with food?
My plan is to write out my daily food log here on my blog. I think that if I hold myself accountable to the choices I'm making that I'm more likely to think them through. Also, I will gladly take any suggestions on what I can do better : )